Tuesday, 27 September 2016

Why Is Self Confidence Important ( How To Improve Self Confidence)



A Self Confident Girl
IMPORTANCE OF SELF CONFIDENCE





What is Self Confidence

Self-confidence is the belief in oneself and abilities, it describes an internal state made up of what we think and feel about ourselves. Self confidence is the belief that we can do things we normally don’t do when we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory. Self confidence stems from our inner self.  Everyone is created differently, some people are created shy while some are outspoken. This should not deter us in being confident when the need arises.

Types of self confidence

There are two major types of self confidence; 
·        Low self confidence
·        High self confidence

Low self confidence: This is a person who has a poor belief in both their self worth and competence. They basically have constant feeling of insecurity they are timid and mostly shy. Most suffer from depression and anxiety.  Low self-confidence can result in: shyness communication difficulties, social anxiety and lack of assertiveness

High self confidence: This is a person who has a good belief in their competence and self worth. They generally feel good about themselves and are fun to be with. They are pleasant and have high energy always. High self confidence can result in: boldness, social flexibility, assertiveness and happiness.

Importance Of Self Confidence

It is worth noting that not everyone is born with an inbuilt sense of self confidence. Sometimes self confidence is hard to develop maybe due to bad experiences in the past which caused you to lose confidence in yourself or if you have a low self. Self confidence and self esteem are used interchangeably. Self confidence can originate from childhood experiences etc. Someone with low confidence does not just exhibit it at once. Certain scenarios which have happened in the past have made that person like that and it has become a way of life for that person. For a child that is always encouraged by the parents to keep on despite having failed once or twice will always be high on confidence because he sees every failure as a learning point. Good experience and memories will help boost the self confidence of that child.  Self confidence is important because it puts us in a positive mood always.

However if we are to improve our self confidence, we can read books and study to be more confident in a particular field of study. For men who put a lot of importance into body building and can register in a gym and build up their muscles, if that will boost your self confidence. Self confidence is an inner belief that you feel and radiates outwardly. Examine yourself, take note of things you won’t normally do on a normal day then make a resolution to try it out. In case you find yourself in social events, you should talk to people you meet for the first time, strike a conversation with them and see how it ends. You might be surprised by who you meet. If you want to be successful in life, self confidence will play a great role because it is only through our interactions and reactions with people that we grow and get opportunities. Let’s take this scenario for instance you are a marketer in a company and you have to market a product; how can you convince someone to buy your products if you’re not confident about yourself or the product you’re selling. So you see, you have to be confident to market that product. After convincing people to buy you will find yourself meeting your target which will in turn gain you promotions in your place of work.

Another scenario is finding yourself in a situation where you fancy someone of the opposite sex, but when the time comes for you to strike a conversation with that person you shy away and that opportunity is lost forever. Next time you meet that dream partner of yours, be confident on yourself and make a good first impression.  Do not beat yourself because you missed an opportunity due to lack of self confidence, take it as a learning point and strive to do the right thing next time. Or better still stop beating yourself for failing or screwing up? It might not be a funny but it won’t help you get through it. It is much better to recognize that everything, whether it favors you or not will always make you stronger this is how you practice living a rich life.

Having a bad relationship with our body especially for women and young men affects our self confidence. You see well muscled and trimmed men in bill boards and the television and want to be like them. There’s nothing bad admiring those celebrities etc, but it is important we don’t copy them but look at what they do that conveys confidence and learn from what they are doing right if it is to visit the gym and get that trimmed body then do it. If it is to be doing sit ups and pushups for that big chest and six packs then get to work. If it works for you, then fine. For our ladies we find most loss self confidence easily when they feel they don’t have that perfect body. We see most with low self esteem this is as a result of the common craves for this model figure though elusive to my standards. If you are fat and your body makes you lose your self confidence then try to work out and loss those fats anything that tickles your fancy is welcome. Being confident is an ongoing process not a goal, it doesn’t end when it has been achieved instead it is continuous as you will be faced with different situations that your confidence will be tested.


SEE ALSO : 8 Bad Habits That Will Steal Your Joy ( When You Least Expect )

An individual lacking self confidence who receives a low score in a take home assignment may tell himself, “What else could I expect? I am not good enough and this just proves it.” An individual with high self confidence who also receives a low may think, “I wonder where I went wrong? I’ll surely find out and do better next time.” Even though it is painful and this individual feels disappointed because of the low mark he doesn’t feel dejected or feel less a person. If we have low self confidence, then the low score scenario may trigger memories of similar events in the past and then lead to a cycle of negative thinking. Now imagine if you now start thinking of the future after such negative feelings have occupied our minds. These low expectations will discourage you from even trying in the first place and then you experience another disappointing result and feel negative about yourself again.

Do not feel guilty or downcast when you make decisions that hurt others. I am not saying you should be a sadist but you should be confident about our decisions. Monitor yourself, talk and question your negative statements about yourself, stop focusing on yourself too much and try to help others. Make time for yourself and treat yourself often. Don't be afraid to ask others for what you want. As no man is an island to himself we all need each other to survive. You can practice these four (4) little steps below to improve your self confidence.

  1. Take stock of your achievements and write them down on a list you will find out you have achieved a lot. It doesn’t matter what kind of achievements they are in as far they are important to you. Be proud of this list of achievement you did them all by your own. Focusing on the positives will increase your self confidence.
  2. Practice optimism every time. Being optimistic is giving yourself positive assurances that things will go fine Use positive self-talk and affirmations to reprogram your thinking. "I am a good and worthwhile person". If you always have thinking that things will turn out good you will find yourself confidence returning.
  3. Think about positive experiences and people. Remember good times and surround yourself with people who have positive energy and make you feel good. Spending time with people who like us can be helpful. Remove negative friends, gossipers or people with negative energy from your life they will only make you bad and cause you to have low self confidence. Now you can see that removing critics from you life will increase your self confidence.
  4. Finally make personal changes to your life. This is an important step to improve your self confidence.  The first step is to map out and identify what you want to change in our life.  What can you change that will make you feel better about yourself? Are you confident and happy with your job? Does it pay the dues? Is there something else you'd rather do? What about your relationships or your social life? If you would like to be more assertive for example then start working on that immediately. Having done that, it is necessary to make sure that they are manageable; break it down into smaller steps or identify a less ambitious change to attempt first.

A general overview of the above steps will help improve your self confidence. Take each step and practice it, before you know it becomes part of your routine and you will start seeing results and your self confidence will come back.


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Tuesday, 20 September 2016

8 Bad Habits That Will Steal Your Joy ( When You Least Expect )

8 bad habits that will steal your joy when you least expect
Bad Habits That Steal Your Joy



Everyone has that habit that makes them different. Habits control our way of life and it has a great influence on our emotions depending on the situation. Habits are formed over time. Our thoughts and mind are in control of our well being. Often times we find ourselves participating in a negative behavior which we may or may not be conscious of because our subconscious mind is already used to this negative pattern. These common habits can steal our happiness if we engage in them. Below are few of the bad habits and how to overcome them.

Constant thoughts of the past

It is called the past for certain reasons meaning that whatever you do cannot change it. You find yourself feeling gloomy about a mistake which you could have avoided. This makes you sad because your mind is now focused on that sad experience which causes negative energy to form around you. Why do you constantly re-live your past? Embrace your past and get over it.  To relieve yourself from this burden, think about your present situation, satisfy yourself that things happen for a reason and let it go.

Worrying about tomorrow

We constantly find ourselves worrying about the future when we know we have little influence on how it unfolds. Live for the presence and be at peace. I am not saying planning for the future is not a good thing, you can plan for it but don’t over indulge in it to the extent that it steals our joy from us. Enjoy the present and know that the tomorrow will take care of itself.
Do not worry too much as our lives has been mapped out. Think about how to make the present beautiful so that the future will be comfortable as well.

Comparing yourself to others

We often give ourselves emotional trauma when we constantly compare ourselves to other people. We are all born differently and we need to remind ourselves that all fingers are not equal. In our great quest to be like that friend we constantly wish to be like, we tend to do things that are not comfortable for us and end up disappointed. We are all unique in our different ways and we have our own strength and weaknesses. You will be surprised that the awesome person we are trying to comparing ourselves too, will be admiring something in us. This habit is common among teenagers in high school. Instead of feeling jealous about that person why not use that as a motivation to be like that person. Comparing yourself to others will only steal your joy in the long run.

Being too serious about life

Yes! You are too serious about life. This is a bad habit that will drain you of your emotional strength. I wonder why we take life that we have little influence over to seriously. Live life to its fullest, live everyday like its your last day on earth, unwind and have fun, relax and give yourself a break from the everyday hassle. We are in this life to learn and make mistakes and we learn from these mistakes. Anytime you see yourself making mistakes laugh over it and give yourself a pat in the back because next time you wont repeat that same mistake.

Living a borrowed life

Who cares what you do? We are all in this world to make a mark that is why everyone is part of a whole. It is our own unique attributes that bring a complex situation together. Do not live a borrowed life, do not copy or pretend to be someone you are not. Boost your self esteem and let your light shine. The moment you discover your self-worth then you will be totally free to impact in the society. Even if you look at someone as your rival, the best you can do is recognizing your own strengths, building on it to bring out the real you. You will be surprised how this works like magic.

Being a perfectionist

Nothing steals our joy faster than the quest for perfection. Failures are proofs that we are human beings. No one is perfect but we find people that strive for perfection. They go all the way to make things perfect even though it is through illegal means. if this is not done their urge is unsatisfied. It is only robots that we know are perfect and even robots malfunction some times. It is necessary for you to embrace your mistake and live a life of joy. Be a learner and ask questions. it is only by asking questions you tend to learn and be the best in that endeavor.

Working without zeal

Working for no pay or pay that cannot cater for your needs and that of your family is disastrous and frustrating. The economic problems and hardship in the country is enough to make someone go mad. Don’t give up on your dreams; look for a job that will help you financially.  Choose a job you love doing and engage in it. There is a feeling you get when you are in the wrong industry. for instance, imagine an Engineer working in the bank. You find yourself working just because there is no alternative. This habit will continue to ruin your joy except you make a decision to switch to something better. What are you going to do in such situation?


Bottling up your feelings

You need to express yourself to ensure relief. This will ensure a light heart. why carry such load of burden about? Bottling up feelings will allow them to build up and cause problems. if you bottle them up it will eventually blow up one day. If you are burdened about an issue it is better to let it out irrespective of what people will feel. 

There you have it 7 bad habits that steal our joy. What is the one thing you can change about your life? Make a decision today and take life easy as it comes; the change begins with you.










Sunday, 18 September 2016

10 Helpful Habits That Will Ensure Your Happiness

10 Helpful Habits That Will Ensure Your Happiness
A HAPPY GIRL (HELPFUL HABITS THAT WILL ENSURE HAPPINESS)


We often think of how our lives will be impacted when everything is in place. You often dream of that perfect life with no hiccups whatsoever. However you are burdened with so many setbacks in achieving this scenario. Your life is a product of your characters which are also a product of your habits. In this article, I will be highlighting ten habits that will ensure our happiness. Happiness is already in your ability, we all have habits, and they either work for us or hinder us. Deep down in our mind if we should be sincere we can deduce those habits that are working to serve us or those that are working to hold us back.  We are a reflection of our habits.

1.      Practice forgiveness


I made this my first point because of its importance.  In this life there is a very strong possibility that we will be hurt by people as no one is perfect. We all argue and have disagreements.  The best way for overcoming this emotional prison is to let go. This habit can steal your happiness because it makes you unstable and the energy and stress you will put yourself through remembering that person that offended you can be channeled into something better. Holding grudges will steal your happiness. Conflict is a part of life. Learn to forgive quickly, forget and live a life free of grudge.

2.      Connect and schedule quality time


We should have time for ourselves to unwind.  Most of us are always busy with responsibilities that we forget the motive for living. Living our life like it’s a routine is not a good way to live life. We forget we have families that need love and care. We are always busy with work that we can’t even go for a weekend trip to see our loved ones. That quality time with that special person cannot be over emphasized. Create time to see them and see happiness revolve around your life. You often notice people that have garnered all the wealth in the world and still don’t find joy. This is just one of those little habits you have been indulging in.  If you’re guilty of this pick up your phone and make a call to that special person and pour out your heart.


3.      Unwind and have fun


There are various ways of having fun.  By fun I mean, hooking up with friends and cooling off.  You can use a Friday night and hang out. Gist and talk about how the busy week has been. Let off steam and reduce the bottled up stress in your body.  Dance to music and free up your mind. Be free and be social. Try not to be too serious, this is the time you need to be that jovial lady or dude not the serious boss in the office. Connect with your friends and customers. Laugh uncontrollably as we know it is the best medicine and can do wonders for your life.

4.      Live your life


We should live our life the way we have mapped it out, do not live a borrowed life.  If you are in a situation that is not okay by you, change it.  You will only be postponing the inevitable because it will still crash.  In other to live a fulfilled life we should be in the right career. If you are already on the wrong part of life you can either continue on this part or you make a drastic change. Ask yourself this question, am I enjoying what I am doing currently?  If the answer is no, then it’s time for a change.
Do not do it to please anyone including your parents. If you are in a toxic relationship, break up and be with someone that makes you happy. I cannot bear to see young people waste their life all in the name of pretence. Real happiness will only come when you rule your life and your habits will go a long way to tell the whole story.

5.      Be generous to those around you


It is important for us to be generous at every opportunity.  “Give and it will be given unto you”. It doesn’t matter how small. There is a certain feeling you have when you render help to your fellow men and friends. It gives you a sense of fulfillment when you render alms. If you haven’t been practicing this try it. Give out and see the effect it has on the person, by so doing, you have lifted the persons spirit which have in turn impacted on your own spirit as well. This habit will ensure that your pocket is never dry because in giving you have invested your goodwill in another person’s life account which will grow and yield interest in your life.

6.      Exercise daily and keep a good work routine

 

I usually work out and exercise once in a while to keep shape. Exercising gives us strength and improves our stamina and well being. To lift up our endurance and determination we can go swimming on weekends or visit a gym. Anyone that works for us can be engaged in.  It doesn’t matter how long we engage in this exercise, what matters is our dedication to it. Exercise tones the body, gives us a better look, shape and keeps the blood pumping at optimum level. 
A good work routine in the house can also be an alternative to a visit in the gym. A regular house chore can go a long way of ensuring we are happy from healthy living.

7.      Get more sleep


Yes! Sleep is important. The body needs to rest in other to function properly.  Sleep when the body says so.  Do not stress yourself out all in the name of work.  In other to live a happy life, we need to create a good work life balance. Most people I have spoken with have broken this rule a lot. They have a habit of keeping late nights and suppressing it with coffee the next day.  This is a very wrong habit.  If you take a note of our performance output in a week you will find out that your output is below average this is as a result of lack of sleep.
Get enough sleep today my friend, it will only ensure you’re happier in the long run do not worry about tomorrow. Plan your schedules and do them at the appropriate time.

8.      Earn and spend money wisely


You should have an attitude for saving. This will essentially bail you out on the rainy day.  Have a financial plan and workout how much of your finance will go into capital projects.  Indulging in other forms of fast money making opportunities will only leave you heartbroken. This occurs 90 percent of the time. Forms of gambling and other wrong investment will steal away your joy and happiness. Do not make them a habit as it will have a negative impact. Earn money wisely through investment and business deals.  Nothing better than legitimate money, you live a free life with your family, you are happy and not in any form of fear and anxiety. If it is illegitimate, you won’t enjoy the money as you will have issues with the government, cops etc.

9.      Procrastination is not a virtue


The number one enemy of success and happiness is procrastination.  It is the avoidance of doing a task which needs to be accomplished. It is also means carrying out task that are less urgent instead of focusing on the important ones. Procrastination can make us forget what to do at the right time. To ensure happiness we need to do the right things at the right time. If we procrastinate, we can forget to do certain things which will result in lost opportunities which can be lost forever.  An opportunity lost cannot be gained. Time waits for no man. Stop procrastinating today and live a happy life of your dreams.

10.  Know what you want and go for it.

Find something to make a living out of that is meaningful to you. Something that you love doing that brings you joy. Find something that you won’t get tired of doing, whether you are being paid for it or not.  Harness your talents and think deep to find this gift, give life and purpose to this gift. Challenge yourself to earn a living from this gift.  Work hard to get it recognized by people.  Try to earn a living from it. This is important for the sustenance of this gift. Do not waver or lose focus. This is the sure way of being happy doing what you love doing. 

Action can help us achieve a happy life.

There you have it; 10 habits that will ensure a life of happiness. If you have not being doing the above, make a commitment and start today.  If you have been doing some of them, kudos to you, keep it up.

Kindly share so everyone can benefit.  Spread the word.

Sunday, 11 September 2016

How To Make The Right Decision By Listening To Your Conscience Every time


“There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
Do u usually have that crazy feeling in your gut that refuses to stop unless you succumb to it. Yeah! That is your conscience pricking you to do something in a situation. Most times refusing to do this result in a “vague sense of guilt” about what you should have done in such situations. There’s a saying that goes that a clear conscience fears to accusation.  Our conscience is like our innermost sanctuary that guides us and directs our everyday dealings.



How To Make The Right Decision By Listening To Your Conscience Every Time
A MAN LISTENING TO HIS ANGEL AND DEVIL SELF IN MAKING A DECISION
A conscience is aptitude, faculty, intuition or judgement that assists in distinguishing right from wrong.  It can also be understood as our power to choose what is good and what is evil.  A lot of people disregard this thinking faculty and instead do what they feel like. Conscience can also be known as an inner voice which you can hear and feel in our head. Before we make decisions regarding any situation, different consciences are at logger heads, each trying to be dominating over the other in our head. As a person, you are the administrator, you own your body and any decision you make will affect that same body.

 “If all the world hated and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved of you and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.” – Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre 

Our bodies can be compared to a hardware component which we are the users/administrators we have the sole power and authority to make any changes to it. Our soul is the software which contains our wills, mind and thoughts. Both the hardware and software need to function together. For us to make good decisions, we must learn to listen to the spirit. Failure to do this will result in unfavourable consequences. The ability for us to know when the spirit talks to us then we are in the right part of making the best decisions in life.

See also: what motivates us
Consciences are usually depicted as a battle in our mind, inner light vs. inner darkness. The inner light can be represented as an angel while the inner darkness can be seen as demons and devilish agents poisoning our mind and causing us to fail. Conscience can be depicted to be our awareness of the morals. Several factors can influence our consciences such as peer group, family, social inclinations; society etc conscience can be broken down into three categories.

Types of conscience

Basically there are three types of conscience
1.      Good conscience
2.      Guilty conscience
3.      False or bad conscience

False or bad conscience

In our world today, we see a lot of atrocities and crime, this are by products of false conscience. You see people being murdered in cold blood and you imagine what will warrant someone to perpetuate such hideous acts. These acts are perpetrated by people who have killed their spirit. The same spirit which gives them the direction to make the right decisions always, they have shut out that inner voice hence they lack the moral judgement to ascertain what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is evil.

Guilty conscience

This type of conscience pricks you and disturbs your mind, it is usually post incident. After the deed has occurred then you begin to feel a sudden guilt. It is a voice of guilt in your mind. It causes you pain and anger. It can be so annoying and depressing because you can’t focus and you always imagine if you haven’t made the wrong decision. The best way to overcome this guilt is to drop it and move on. In life, it is certain that we will be faced with certain situations that will need us to follow our heart and spirit. And it is not assured that our decisions will be perfect. So anytime you make the wrong decisions, you just need to remove the voice of guilt from your mind.

Good conscience

I call it good because this tells you the right decision to make. It is the voice of the spirit, the voice of reasoning, the soft voice that appeals in your inner mind, it is usually loudest and consistent among the other thoughts. It’s the one that wants the best for you, the angelic voice. A good conscience is noble and pure and right in all ramifications. It does not cause grief or pain or regret. It always leads you to the right part. It leads you to the right decision. If you as an individual want to be successful by making the right calls then you must learn how to listen to your conscience.

How to listen to your conscience.

Now we have known the different types of conscience, you now need to know the steps to use in listening and harnessing the potentials of your conscience. I recommend two ways to improve our perception to listening these are: Meditation and Examination of Conscience.

Meditation:

This is a state of mind where you remove yourself from the environment and meditate .An individual trains the mind and induces a mode of consciousness, to become identified with that content. Being at peace with your inner mind’ in this state, you pause and ponder for few minutes then you will be able to interact with your spirit and ascertain a higher level of understanding. It takes an amount of practise to maintain the concentration. People who meditate have a higher perception and comprehension.  They know how to listen to their inner voice and carry on with their judgement. Certain religions make use of meditation as a means of communication with higher spirits.  Christians use it to communicate with God, anytime you have trouble making the right decision, it is time to meditate.

Examination of Conscience

This is carried out by engaging in a sober reflection of your life. You need to ask yourself why you act the way you do and the effects of your decisions on your friends and immediate family. What you could have done right. There is no exact time duration for examining your conscience it can take up to thirty minutes or more. The major thing is that you reflect on your past mistakes and resolve to make the best decisions next time. It is a catholic practise that prepares an individual for confession. An examination of conscience is the act of looking prayerfully into our hearts to ask how we have hurt our relationship with God and other people through our words and actions. The results of this examination will prevent us from carrying out those same actions and decisions next time.
Over the years there have been different writings about what conscience entails and different views about it. We have philosophical views, religious views and even secular views, each doing justice to the topic. I must state that in my research all these views point to one main point which is the ability of man to make the right judgement in any situation. In the 13th century, St Thomas Aquinas regarded conscience as the application of moral knowledge to a particular case. our conscience plays a major role in our decisions.
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Tuesday, 6 September 2016

Life Chronicles Part 3

A Blogger's Mind


A Review Of Blogging Process and Tips
A BLOGGER

So I started blogging for the past two weeks now and my experience has been worthwhile. Though it has not been a smooth journey, I came to realize that it’s easier said than done. Apart from the regular writers block there’s a whole lot to blogging. After i decided to use blogger offered by Google, I am still learning new things every day.  I thought it was going to be easy dishing out a 400 character post but that’s not the case. To rank in Google search engines it’s required for your articles to be at least 2000 characters. The more characters the better. Not to forget that you need quality content. I thought I had lost my muse after I felt totally blank without an idea of what to write.

My greatest question in blogging is, how do I know what niche to specialize on? I am still writing on a variety of things till I get to know what I am good at.  I love to help and advice people so I am sticking mostly to motivational and inspirational messages for now.  I have read about the saturated nature of some niches and also how some niches get more readership and monetary advantages over others.  I am sticking to what I know and can use to impact on my readers.  I am still figuring this aspect out too.  I don’t have a strong social media followership but I tend to share my articles with facebook and also ask some of my friends to share too. I have concluded that the hardest thing to do is convincing people to read your content.  If you have the trust then you have the followers, if you have followers you have traffic, if you have traffic then you have the opportunity to earn a living from blogging.

Two weeks back, I was feeling I had completed the developments for a blog.  Yeah, I had a good blog design with a nice template; I had added gadgets to my side bar. I carried out different changes and tweaks on my side bars to ensure it was presentable, I tested gadgets and widgets on my site removed the ones that didn’t work. I even started experimenting with CSS and HTML codes. I came up with a fairly site which I built on my own with no prior knowledge of website design before now. Fast forward today, the main question is how to increase traffic to my young site. After checking countless blogs on how to go about this ordeal I came across tips from famous bloggers like Harsh Agrawal. I applied these tips but only went as far as nipping the bud.

As if it wasn’t enough, I now learnt that to get traffic you must know at least the basics of SEO (search engine optimization). This is the most baffling of them all. From creating a great website to optimizing the key words, steps you cannot avoid if someone needs traffic in his site. This would improve my sites rank in Google all things being equal. I can imagine that everyone wants traffic, imagine spending hours and days researching for that killer article and after you publish it, no one comments.  It feels like heartbreak. I just feel the content was not good enough to appeal to my readers or even wasn’t ranking high in search engines for people to see it. However I continue my quest in getting a killer content. It was around this period I applied for the Google adsense program. I wasn’t surprised it was disapproved for insufficient content.  I now made it my mission to publish more articles and get approval when next I applied for adsense, I had also read about banner adverts and affiliate opportunities for monetization. 


A review of blogging and its challenges
BLOGGING


What about Meta tags and Meta descriptions, a short phrase or sentence that depicts what an article is about they usually appear under a topic in search engines.  It was made up of at most 150 characters, which may include few key words. Then I heard of Google webmaster tools, I am still fascinated by it because it is so complex for a rookie like me to understand. I was required to verify the ownership of my blog; I chose the second option which required me to place a code in my site for Google to verify. After that, I learnt how to submit my sitemap. Funny enough, I had this notion that blogging was all about writing something up and pressing enter just like updating a Facebook status little did I know I just started my journey more was to come. It wasn’t over as I needed to add my site to two other big search engines, Bing and Yahoo.  I was like, oh! So I need to go through this daunting task again.  I registered successfully with Bing and added my site map. I heard that Bing and yahoo are linked so I was glad I didn’t have to add my site to yahoo anymore since I was registered with Bing already.



The use and application of Meta Tags in blogging
A META TAG


A whole new experience to me, but I am enjoying the journey I have loved to write right from time, what better time to start using my talent. I have joined other blog groups on facebook to learn more from the experience bloggers.  I guess I have a lot to learn from them.  I follow other blogs that have high followership and have a high ranking for both Alexa and Google etc.  I learn from those sites and see what they are doing, then use the knowledge to be more creative in my own blog. I also learnt about writing articles on other blogs as guest authors which will help improve the traffic of my own blog through back links etc.


In conclusion, it’s not easy being a blogger, most will quit after the first two weeks especially when their post are ignored without comments, shares or feedbacks. As we know feedbacks can either be positive or negative.  But a true blogger will strive until he gets to the top. I strive to improve my blog experience to my mobile users, Android, Windows and Blackberry.  This is for the sole reason that a lot of people use their phones to do most things online. I may not have covered up a lot of ground concerning blogging but am writing my major experiences as a professional blogger. Expert Advises and inputs are encouraged from my esteemed readers. My source is my mind; I know its good enough to impact on my readers.




Sunday, 4 September 2016

The Worry Article Of Your Dreams



Causes and Symptoms of worry and how to overcome it
A Woman In The Sunset


Do you know that feeling you get, when you’re disappointed things don’t go the way you planned. That feeling in your chest like you have a hole in the heart. You feel trapped and defeated and there is no hope of anything better. The best thing to do in such situations is analyse the situation because worrying will not solve the problem. You’re the only one standing in your way. Calm down, relax, take a chill pill and breathe then tell me why? Why do we worry about everything? Why do we worry at all? Why do we give ourselves high blood pressure on situations we don’t have control over.
What is worry?
Worry can be defined as problems or unpleasant things that make you anxious. According to the Merriam- Webster dictionary, Worry is a mental or agitation resulting from concern usually for something impending or anticipated. I remember when I was younger, my mum will be worried about my whereabouts when i go out late then, I usually feel angry due to her constant calls but now I think bank and laugh over it because its just her motherly instincts at work, I just tell her not to worry that I will back soon.
Worry is like a rocking chair it doesn't take us anywhere. it is like a stagnant pool of water. What happens to water that is stagnant? It breeds mosquitoes, flies and it is offensive. These are the side effects of what worrying can do to our body. It is okay to worry about situations and things that affect us but it is wrong when we don't act on those thoughts. however, it's better off putting our body's on auto pilot mode than giving it the stress.
Causes of Worry
Worry can be caused by not trusting God to take care of us and any of our life situations. We are too sure of our personal abilities to do everything. We forget that we need God to direct our affairs and pilot our lives. Our inner peace is destroyed when we worry and fret about issues. Even after trying to do it ourselves we find out that we come up short and the problem still persist because we are unable to come up with a suitable solution to the problem. In the bible, Matthew 6:25-26, Jesus says we should not worry about tomorrow that it will take care of itself. What to eat, drink, and wear. Even the birds of the air do not worry because the Lord takes care of their needs. We lack faith that's why we worry about all these things.
Worry can also be caused when we indulge too much on certain problems. Dwelling on it,  giving it precedence over other issues. We get worked up too much and end up panicking even to the extent of losing our precious sleep at some worst case scenario. This increases the negative effect of that thought on us. We need to let it go, so it doesn't generate into another deeper problem. There are definitely some issues that can be solved immediately and others that cannot be solved immediately. It just lies in identifying those ones that can be solved now then leaving out those ones that have potential to cause us discomfort.
How to change the trend
I am not in any way condemning people that worry; it is a natural human condition. Many people worry for good reasons known to them. It gives them poor judgement because their sense of reasoning is flawed at that situation. The panic button has been set on, they no longer have the will power to relax and analyse the causative factor. It is the same with our personal lives. Many of the things we are worried about are things that can be managed with the right decisions. 
My previous post on overcoming the fear of rejection, I pointed out various points to overcome this fear and the effects it has on people. These two topics are linked. For instance, you apply for a job and get rejected by a potential employer, we find out a chain reaction which starts with a feeling of disappointment, it now leads to a second phase where you're worried and depressed. Next is the thought of what to do after this setback resulting to a slump of inflicted depression. In order to leave a stable life our stress limits need to be put in check regularly. 
Whenever we worry we should think of ways to solve the underlying problem as I have said earlier pondering and panicking won't take you anywhere rather it will cause you stress, depression and more. One strategy we can use is to start by identifying the frightening thought in your mind, single it out to be sure that is causative factor. Then instead of viewing it as thoughts and facts, treat them as hypotheses you’re testing out. As you examine and challenge your fears and worries you will develop a sane and balanced perspective about the situation. We should not to bite more than we can chew. Take life easily as it comes. Do not run after materialistic things too much. Live a simple life and worrying will be something of the past. 
Why we should stop worrying
Stop, listen, and think of the life you have. Have you noticed you’re still breathing, you’re healthy. When there is life there is hope. Count your blessings and name them one by one by so doing you remove the stress and pain you put yourself through by worrying about issues. Worrying causes health issues it saps you of your emotional energy and can cause headaches from constant brain stress. Even when situations are dire the only thing you can do is cry it off that is if tears could make things better. Get up, life is too short to be worried about what to do. One of the reasons why people engage their worry is they think, this is an issue I must sort out now, I have to plan about the next outcome. Oh, I need to buy foods for my dog, oh, the garden needs pruning, Oh, the school session will soon commence, I need to get my children fees ready, and there are countless examples of what we worry about. Yes it’s okay to engage in all this, as it can be termed planning for future occurrence but why can’t we set a time in the day to think about all these, and then take actions to solving them one at a time instead of allowing them build up forming cross word puzzles in our brains. 
It’s time to let it go
Though it’s hard to break away from a norm, but you can digest this article and apply some of the advice I have written above and take it step by step. Take away the positives and change your life.  Always keep a smiling face and worry no more. Let’s get your comments on your experience with worry and how you manage it when it comes up.
Make a decision today to stop this from affecting your life.
Why worry?!