Tuesday, 27 September 2016

Why Is Self Confidence Important ( How To Improve Self Confidence)

A Self Confident Girl

What is Self Confidence

Self-confidence is the belief in oneself and abilities, it describes an internal state made up of what we think and feel about ourselves. Self confidence is the belief that we can do things we normally don’t do when we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory. Self confidence stems from our inner self.  Everyone is created differently, some people are created shy while some are outspoken. This should not deter us in being confident when the need arises.

Types of self confidence

There are two major types of self confidence; 
·        Low self confidence
·        High self confidence

Low self confidence: This is a person who has a poor belief in both their self worth and competence. They basically have constant feeling of insecurity they are timid and mostly shy. Most suffer from depression and anxiety.  Low self-confidence can result in: shyness communication difficulties, social anxiety and lack of assertiveness

High self confidence: This is a person who has a good belief in their competence and self worth. They generally feel good about themselves and are fun to be with. They are pleasant and have high energy always. High self confidence can result in: boldness, social flexibility, assertiveness and happiness.

Importance Of Self Confidence

It is worth noting that not everyone is born with an inbuilt sense of self confidence. Sometimes self confidence is hard to develop maybe due to bad experiences in the past which caused you to lose confidence in yourself or if you have a low self. Self confidence and self esteem are used interchangeably. Self confidence can originate from childhood experiences etc. Someone with low confidence does not just exhibit it at once. Certain scenarios which have happened in the past have made that person like that and it has become a way of life for that person. For a child that is always encouraged by the parents to keep on despite having failed once or twice will always be high on confidence because he sees every failure as a learning point. Good experience and memories will help boost the self confidence of that child.  Self confidence is important because it puts us in a positive mood always.

However if we are to improve our self confidence, we can read books and study to be more confident in a particular field of study. For men who put a lot of importance into body building and can register in a gym and build up their muscles, if that will boost your self confidence. Self confidence is an inner belief that you feel and radiates outwardly. Examine yourself, take note of things you won’t normally do on a normal day then make a resolution to try it out. In case you find yourself in social events, you should talk to people you meet for the first time, strike a conversation with them and see how it ends. You might be surprised by who you meet. If you want to be successful in life, self confidence will play a great role because it is only through our interactions and reactions with people that we grow and get opportunities. Let’s take this scenario for instance you are a marketer in a company and you have to market a product; how can you convince someone to buy your products if you’re not confident about yourself or the product you’re selling. So you see, you have to be confident to market that product. After convincing people to buy you will find yourself meeting your target which will in turn gain you promotions in your place of work.

Another scenario is finding yourself in a situation where you fancy someone of the opposite sex, but when the time comes for you to strike a conversation with that person you shy away and that opportunity is lost forever. Next time you meet that dream partner of yours, be confident on yourself and make a good first impression.  Do not beat yourself because you missed an opportunity due to lack of self confidence, take it as a learning point and strive to do the right thing next time. Or better still stop beating yourself for failing or screwing up? It might not be a funny but it won’t help you get through it. It is much better to recognize that everything, whether it favors you or not will always make you stronger this is how you practice living a rich life.

Having a bad relationship with our body especially for women and young men affects our self confidence. You see well muscled and trimmed men in bill boards and the television and want to be like them. There’s nothing bad admiring those celebrities etc, but it is important we don’t copy them but look at what they do that conveys confidence and learn from what they are doing right if it is to visit the gym and get that trimmed body then do it. If it is to be doing sit ups and pushups for that big chest and six packs then get to work. If it works for you, then fine. For our ladies we find most loss self confidence easily when they feel they don’t have that perfect body. We see most with low self esteem this is as a result of the common craves for this model figure though elusive to my standards. If you are fat and your body makes you lose your self confidence then try to work out and loss those fats anything that tickles your fancy is welcome. Being confident is an ongoing process not a goal, it doesn’t end when it has been achieved instead it is continuous as you will be faced with different situations that your confidence will be tested.

SEE ALSO : 8 Bad Habits That Will Steal Your Joy ( When You Least Expect )

An individual lacking self confidence who receives a low score in a take home assignment may tell himself, “What else could I expect? I am not good enough and this just proves it.” An individual with high self confidence who also receives a low may think, “I wonder where I went wrong? I’ll surely find out and do better next time.” Even though it is painful and this individual feels disappointed because of the low mark he doesn’t feel dejected or feel less a person. If we have low self confidence, then the low score scenario may trigger memories of similar events in the past and then lead to a cycle of negative thinking. Now imagine if you now start thinking of the future after such negative feelings have occupied our minds. These low expectations will discourage you from even trying in the first place and then you experience another disappointing result and feel negative about yourself again.

Do not feel guilty or downcast when you make decisions that hurt others. I am not saying you should be a sadist but you should be confident about our decisions. Monitor yourself, talk and question your negative statements about yourself, stop focusing on yourself too much and try to help others. Make time for yourself and treat yourself often. Don't be afraid to ask others for what you want. As no man is an island to himself we all need each other to survive. You can practice these four (4) little steps below to improve your self confidence.

  1. Take stock of your achievements and write them down on a list you will find out you have achieved a lot. It doesn’t matter what kind of achievements they are in as far they are important to you. Be proud of this list of achievement you did them all by your own. Focusing on the positives will increase your self confidence.
  2. Practice optimism every time. Being optimistic is giving yourself positive assurances that things will go fine Use positive self-talk and affirmations to reprogram your thinking. "I am a good and worthwhile person". If you always have thinking that things will turn out good you will find yourself confidence returning.
  3. Think about positive experiences and people. Remember good times and surround yourself with people who have positive energy and make you feel good. Spending time with people who like us can be helpful. Remove negative friends, gossipers or people with negative energy from your life they will only make you bad and cause you to have low self confidence. Now you can see that removing critics from you life will increase your self confidence.
  4. Finally make personal changes to your life. This is an important step to improve your self confidence.  The first step is to map out and identify what you want to change in our life.  What can you change that will make you feel better about yourself? Are you confident and happy with your job? Does it pay the dues? Is there something else you'd rather do? What about your relationships or your social life? If you would like to be more assertive for example then start working on that immediately. Having done that, it is necessary to make sure that they are manageable; break it down into smaller steps or identify a less ambitious change to attempt first.

A general overview of the above steps will help improve your self confidence. Take each step and practice it, before you know it becomes part of your routine and you will start seeing results and your self confidence will come back.

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