Why No One Talks About Quitting Anymore

Hey guys, today am deciding to bare my innermost thoughts and pains. I know a lot of my readers share the same thoughts. Once in a while this comes on you like a heavy boulder on your shoulder. That feeling that there is no need living again. The thought of not continuing when all efforts to make it fail. Why does no one talk about quitting? Is it a rationale to prove you are a failure? No. it’s a normal human feeling which should not be ignored but expressed. I most times reminisce the Greek god; Atlas who was made to bear the weight of the heavens on his shoulder as punishment for defying Zeus and leading the titans into battle against the Olympians. That takes serious guts.

I sit down on my sofa and I reflect on my life and bang” there goes the phrase “I want to quit”. Right now. I want to quit, because I’m tired. My head is fogged up, and my coffee  as good as it is , hasn’t cleared it. I want to quit because I woke up this morning before dawn and my limbs ached. I want to quit because I can remember what it feels like to have more money than I needed, and to lose it, and to remember it like a kick in the gut today. I want to quit because the way back in is long, hard and unforgiving. I wonder why no one talks about quitting anymore, it’s crazy thinking of it.

I want to quit because business is tough, it’s always tough. I’m staring into a mirror 12 hours a day and daring the reflection to make one wrong move, to make one wrong call, knowing that what I do fails or flies on me. I want to quit because I want to sit in my room, playing game and eating, listening to Despacito, doing whatever I can, anything I can to distract myself from the ticking clock and the pressure I’ve always felt to do more, work more, try harder. Why does no one talk about quitting anymore?

I want to quit because I grew up poor, and I’m terrified that if I risk everything, I’ll die poor too. I want to quit because I stand a good chance of failing, every time I take start a new endeavor, every time I build a product or start a business or crack open a new dream, and I’ve failed enough times that I don’t want to feel the ground drop out from under me again. Quitting is what everyone should reflect on sometimes to blow out the steam from under you.

I want to quit because startups are hard, they’re unforgiving in their statistical chances of disaster, and I know deep down that I’m not a visionary leader or a tech genius, just a guy with big ideas and a decent serving of guts. And I’m not sure that’s enough. I want to quit because I got an email from a reader calling me a self-centered asshole because I wouldn’t talk about his problems and solve his issues, and I got a DM from another one who thinks I’m a “vapid waste of space”   even though they don’t know me and my life. I want to quit because I’d rather drink at 10 AM and smoke a pack of cigarettes a day  that’s my self-destructive streak coming out.

I want to quit because making it seems harder than just settling into being average and not trying. If I didn’t try, I could switch off that part of my brain that wants to, and find a comfortable job and get tired and get done. I want to quit because writing means baring a piece of my soul every day, and holding it out to the world and saying hey, what do you think of this? …and sometimes, asking whether it’s been worth it, trying to open myself to it, and feeling vulnerable.

I want to quit because I hate putting in effort, and I want to be lazy, and I don’t want to be productive, and I don’t want to get fit, and I don’t want to stay up late trying to push my dreams over the line. I want to quit because I’d love to re-watch every season of Game of Thrones, and that seems a lot better than blogging and banking. I want to quit because JK Rowling is a better writer than me, with more credibility and authenticity and characters that people love and a series of books that shaped the childhood of millions. I want to quit because James Allen is a better writer than me, with inspirational ideas, messages and game changing concepts that have built thousands of entrepreneurs.

I want to quit because I’m not either of them, and I’m not Stephen Covey, or Paul McCartney, Richard Carlson or Richard Branson. And no matter how much I read articles that list the 10 things they have in common, the 5 morning routine tips that made them successful, the 25 quotes that inspired them, the 50 best decisions they ever made or the 20 traits that helped them achieve their dreams, I’ll probably never reach their level. I want to quit for most of the same reasons that you do. Because we’re all struggling to make it in a world that often doesn’t listen, waiting for the right hand, or the right moment to play the wrong one.

We’re all worried we don’t match up to the ideals and heroes we’ve set ourselves, and there’s a thousand things we’d rather fucking be doing. But I don’t quit. I don’t quit every single day, when I wake up and I want to. I didn’t quit for years, writing blog posts that nobody read, freaking out in panic attacks and deleting them before I would calm down and start all over again.