How To Overcome The Fear Of Rejection

So I am sitting on my sofa and a thought crossed my mind guess what word struck me first… yea you guessed wrongly, “fear”. People are scared of a lot of things. I pondered upon this a lot because I used to be guilty about this too. For instance, when I think about dating, really, rejection seems like the easiest thing that can happen to me. Acceptance… expectations… those are what kick my anxiety into overdrive and make me want to run.  It’s so confusing because I want these situations in the first place. I set myself up to be involved in them. I take all the steps up until it is action time on my part, and then I am ready to disappear into a locked room and watch game of thrones until I fall asleep. I am not a psychologist neither a counselor, am not here to hold your hand and give you that heartwarming embrace and advice. No, this article is going to motivate you to overcome that fear of rejection that has been hunting you for a long time.

Fear of rejection can be debilitating and can be a sign of low self-esteem; it can prevent you from socializing, pursuing friendships, speaking up for yourself, pursuing relationship and work opportunities. It can turn you to a people pleaser and an ass licker, always agreeing to everything any one says. Fear of rejection can worsen your self-esteem. It creates anxiety and can make you feel depressed. The good news is that you can overcome your fear of rejection, build your self-esteem and improve your quality of life. 

Rejection to me is a learning experience; it is not the end but the beginning. After rejection you learn something from the experience. See it as another chance to do the right thing. For example, a company is recruiting and you decide to apply when you know you don’t have the basic requirements for that position. Even if you’re rejected at the end of the day, you take it as a lesson. You find out that the fear will eventually reduce as you will grow more confident for future opportunities.

PHOTO CREDIT: CATJENKINS.COM

See rejection as opening new doors. Re-frame your perception of rejection to see it as an opportunity. Remember that old adage "when one door closes, another door opens"? It's true. Being rejected from one opportunity keeps you free for other opportunities. It may not seem exactly as a good thing for now but later you may very well look back at this rejection and think, “Thank goodness, I didn't get that job. I wouldn't be able to do what I am doing now.” Sometimes we think there is only one path to achieve a particular goal. Remembering that there is more than one road to a destination can help you successfully face your fear of rejection. For example, are applying to a full-time personal assistant position in a pharmaceutical company, where the job can be tedious,  While the experience and pay are real advantages to the job, the position will also consume all of your time. What if you don't get the position? Think of what you could do instead: you could volunteer a few hours in the lab to get more experience and tutor to keep up an income. In some cases, then, rejection can free you up to look for other opportunities you would have had to be closed off to had you not been rejected. The same goes for your personal life. What if after a few weeks after you were rejected by a girl you liked, you meet a new girl and embark on a new relationship with her. It's likely that you wouldn't have been able to have this relationship if the other girl had said 'yes'!

Rejection can be a necessary evil if it pushes us to our goal. I can vividly remember situations that I was rejected and it pushed me to do what I do now. It is not the end of life. In life, various situations will present themselves and you cannot just stop and think oh! Thank God it happened this way. I always tell people everything happens for a reason. It doesn't mean if company A throws out your application then company B will do the same. it will be shameful to cower in defeat and cry in despair like an Olympic athlete because a company rejects your application in despair. This is the wrong approach to make. Get your shit together and do something for yourself.

See also: 7 TIPS FOR JOB HUNTERS AFTER A JOB LOSS

The most annoying part is the approach of our youths to rejection. I have heard of situations that some resort to suicide and other forms of bodily infliction's. This is not common sense because suicide is not an option.  I see it as selfish and a wrong ideology of life. Can you imagine the pain you will cause your loved ones by taking your own life? Parents need to instill this ideology on their children from their adolescence. Make your child confident and boost their self esteem. A lot of situations arise from social media interaction, relationships, peer pressure, cyber bullying etc.

Maintain perspective. Rejection happens, but you won't be rejected from everything. You wouldn't be able to accomplish your goals and dreams or even meet other people if you didn't put yourself forward to create opportunities for yourself. Because you do put yourself out there and try, it's realistic to expect a little rejection once in a while. That's okay, because those probably weren't meant to work for you, and it just means that there are better opportunities just waiting for you out there. Remember that your life is made up of more than rejection and that you still have time ahead of you in which you will experience both success and rejection. It's important to maintain a bigger perspective that goes beyond the exact moment of rejection. Look both to your past and forward. If you find yourself overwhelmed with a particular situation in which you've been rejected, ask yourself, “Will this moment matter the way it does to me right now, in a week? In a month? In a year?”