Tuesday, 20 December 2016

Life Chronicles Part 4



MMM and its global influence and emergence.



Hello readers, on this chapter of life chronicles, I decide to come back to my home country and talk about the trending topic of this year which is the emergence of MMM which has affected everyone as a whole. MMM is a community of people providing financial help on the principle of benevolence. They provide help to one another. It was created to fight the unfair financial system. I had to check their website and understand what they are about and the ideology struck me to the bone as there are no visible proofs that they are not genuine. Even if the system is on a temporary break for a month I will use this article to motivate the participants to be steadfast and not listen to any negative advice or utterance as this will only make them doubtful.




MMM started about last year and it has grown widely in the country little wonder did the number of registered participants tripled in a few months. Every decision you take whether right or wrong will either make or mar you. For the participant that donated with his or her spare cash I am proud of you because the people that are making jest of you today are like stagnant water they are not making a move to change their financial status but are just waiting to castigate and ridicule you. Do not listen but keep on striving to be free, to be the best and the sky will be your starting point. You are better than someone who did not try at all. Even if you do not succeed at first you will at second trail.


It is not over not until the head is off, I have been deliberating for sometime why people act the way they do. Why do people make fun of others? Why do people derive joy in judging and seeing the downfall of another man?  You are in this world to make a mark and impact others to the fullest. I have been observing what has been happening recently in my country Nigeria. How there are schemes that promote independence, and financial freedom. These schemes have been widely accepted as they have the sole purpose of eradicating the unfair and unjust financial system.


This scheme has been proven to make the average man smile even without undergoing the hard pressures of life. I see youths embracing these schemes and I see testimonies about the benefit of joining these businesses. So I decided to see what it is all about. The ideology of MMM is very sound and it’s proven to have good intentions for the lay man. The masses can all be paid if everyone understands how to go about it. With proper rules and fine tuning this scheme will be embraced by all. I weep for this country as there is already a lot of suffering for the people. Nigeria is currently on recession and you wouldn’t blame people for looking for alternative means of income. I for one will support that boy or girl who has the zeal and ambition to do something for themselves.


It is worthy to note that not all network marketing schemes are safe as some are just there to exploit and take advantage of people. Fast forward a week ago and I heard that the system went for a break. Participants could not get help as the administrations wanted a balance in the system. But as you have it paid bloggers and media took advantage of this news and decided to make a whole lot of story from it. MMM has been helping lives and I have prove of that. Further investigation reveals that the system did not crash as propagated by the media. Instead the measures were taking to prevent any overload of the system during this festive season. Why castigate and laugh at the misfortunes of others.


Even the ordinary market woman will testify that this scheme has changed their life. I urge everyone to rally around and get people to register and be patient as nothing good comes easy. For you to become a man then you have to take risk and do things which you won’t normally find yourself doing. Learn to develop yourself more than you can think of. Read a book, learn a new language, travel and do something new every time.


Time waits for no one, the sooner you break the chain that holds you back the better the chances of breakthrough. I can vouch for fighters with an attitude never to give up. Life has a lot of things to teach us we just need to tap into it. There are several opportunities out there that present us with a chance to be financially free. It is left for you to take a chance or let the opportunity go begging. MMM took people by surprise but I strongly believe it will rise up once again. Do not lose hope as it is he who wears the shoe that knows where it pinches the most. I was talking to a man recently and he told me how he has tried so many networking schemes and none has worked for him, I advised him that there is a reason for everything but he started MMM and he benefited from the scheme. Even in the turn of events that has happened recently I was surprised that he is still confident about the whole situation.



However, keeping an open mind will help everyone. I am not in any way supporting people to engage in quick money making schemes but engage in business that have sound backing and a good ideology. If it works for you fine if it doesn’t strive for more. I urge you not to sit back and criticize people when they are down just to prove a point instead a little word of encouragement will do the magic. There are ups and downs in life.  


Wednesday, 30 November 2016

How To Make The Best Out of Every Situation




how to make the best out of every situation

LIFE LIKE A GAME OF CHESS 



Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward. They may be beaten, but they may start a winning game.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Life has its ups and downs, twists and turns. It throws us into uncomfortable situations when we even doubt ourselves. Coming out on top is why I have written this article. Even if it’s a slight advantage, it is important we are at the preferable point. We all prefer when we are in our comfort zone, where there are no issues, we are relaxed and that’s when everything is termed fine. For instance, if we take a cue from the world chess championship ongoing presently in New York you notice how the players take time analyzing the situation on the board they think of their opponents next move, they make plans to outsmart their opponents. Such is life, plan against the next move.



“When you see a good move, look for a better one”—Emmanuel Lasker

The end justifies the means but the present is as important. Most successful people in the world make every situation count. They don’t see obstacles as setbacks rather they see them as challenges and they fight to overcome them.  Remember; accept there are things you can’t control and let go. See every situation as a way to boost your self confidence.



Take every action seriously, as there are repercussions for each.  Accept and love yourself and build your self confidence. Be venerable and connect deeper with everyone. Everyone is different and diverse and it imminent that you will come across people that will irritate you. Once you can get your emotions under control and in check, then you can overcome any temptation. If you carry grudges in your mind then it will be like a baggage in your head. But once you have a mentality that everything happens for a reason then you will find out that you are free.



Be sure that people also make life difficult but you have to make the best out of every situation, no matter how negative. No man is perfect except God and if we put this in mind, you will be able to tolerate others. Perfectionist always push themselves and have high expectations they see each situation as a competition with life being their rival. This is an advantage if you have this personality but there are disadvantages because they can easily be depressed if things don’t work out.



One of the things that can contribute in setting one up for disappointment is having high expectations. While having high expectations can be beneficial in many areas of life, it’s always good to make sure that these expectations are realistic. This is also a great discussion to have with kids so they can learn that making the best out of every situation will ultimately make them happy. Children are very sensitive and they pick up habits and if they’re wired to be less confident then it will be difficult for them to comport themselves when faced with similar situations later in life.


Half the time, a situation happens that directly influences us, hurts our feelings, makes us feel uncomfortable and lingers throughout our day, this is so because we let it happen. Let me use a typical work situation, the instance when your boss replies to you indifferently, be polite and professional, and let him know that you don’t appreciate being spoken to that way. Be bold but polite. Maintain your stance and principles. If your boss is someone of integrity and a great personality it will be easy for him to understand.


Calm responses go a long way to cool an already heated situation.  You can make the best out of every situation you find yourself by having a plan and a goal and means to achieve that goal. Even negative situations can end up being the take home lesson. We learn constantly through experience and practice so if a situation presents itself more than once we can take advantage of it since we already know the outcomes of certain decisions we take.

Friday, 11 November 2016

3 Simple Steps To Remain Positive Despite Setbacks



How to Remain Positive Despite Setbacks
A Postive Mind 


"No matter how things are rough the courage and will power to move on is the ultimate and it’s what differentiates a fighter from someone who gives up."

You have to remain positive despite any setback. You do not owe anyone that excuse just for people to sympathize with your cause. There are a lot of people who do this and rely on an excuse not to be where they are. There is no ordeal in this world that does not occur without obstacles. Obstacles are a way of life. Set backs are a constant occurrence in life. There are individuals that keep going despite some setbacks. They are fighters and they have this will power to never stop until they achieve that goal. It is the mindset that separates the best from the rest if you wake up each day with a goal then you would have put into consideration the obstacles and setbacks that might occur and mapped out strategies to overcome them.

"Start now, start where you are, start with fear, start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don’t stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just… start."

Your thoughts and actions need to be positive in order to have an attractive personality. The way you think has a lot of effect on the way and how you act. And if one has positive thoughts in his mind then that also gives him the confidence boost to overcome setbacks. Situations and circumstances in life can always be full of highs and lows. In order to adopt a positive outlook towards life, you need to find the brighter side of things and focus on the good parts.

By developing our personality we can boost our self esteem and have positive thoughts which will in turn drive positive actions and finally yield a positive outcome. There are people who do not have the power to persevere through hurdles they get discouraged easily when something disrupts the flow. What if you are faced with a situation where you need to make a decision that will either make or mar your achievements what would you do? The simple solution is just to sit back and understand the situation. Then secondly you need to look for alternative ways to avoid those kinds of situations from coming up then finally decide on what approach to use to prevent future occurrence of this set back.



Follow these three steps to keep your positivity level high despite setbacks.

1.     Acknowledge your problem and setback
From the Nigerian Author of the book  “ Things fall apart” we can deduce that things fall apart for things to fall back together and breakdowns can create breakthroughs. Once we can acknowledge the set back then we can act towards eliminating it and coming through greener on the other side. We find out that once we acknowledge the problem and we conquer our fear we remain more positive, we become wiser and stronger. we have to remain positive despite setbacks.


2.   Stop pointing fingers
This is a common practice, people tend to apportion blame when bad things happen to them, and they point fingers at others and blame spiritual attacks. No one is immune to set backs so stop blaming people by so doing we are in the right direction in remaining positive.


3.   Time heals all wounds
 Time heals everything, to remain positive in life you need to allow time pass and heal us. Most of us are so impatient that we end up ruining other aspects of our life. Positivism is not something to be rushed into, take your time and access the situation. By so doing you will achieve whatever you have set up as your goal.

There you have it, 3 simple steps to remain positive despite setbacks. You can add your steps in the comment box so we can share ideas together.

Feel free to share your own experience on the comment box below.


Thursday, 20 October 2016

7 Fundamental Rules That Will Ensure A Successful Life

7 fundamental rules that will ensure a successful life

Living a life of success is not something that comes easily. Everyone has a different background and lifestyle. The combination of both determines how successful the person will be. Some people are born into rich homes, born with silver spoons and this makes them comfortable. Their future is already mapped out. But do you know those fortunes and riches may not even determine success or happiness in life? There are basic fundamental practices which you can practice to ensure a life of success. Self improvement can occur if we develop our inner self and abide by these rules.
Being successful is an inside job, because the desire to be successful may lie in your heart, but the ability to create success lies in your head. The truth is that ‘success’ lives within you all the time, but your ability to access it depends on your state of mind. The only way we can be successful is to harness our inner power and desire to do our best in all situations. Always having a positive mind and outlook will help in making you a success in every situation you find yourself.
We all want to achieve success so we could live a comfortable life—have financial freedom, drive a nice car, and live in a beautiful house. However, although success can be achieved, it does not come easy. Is there someone who doesn’t want to be a more successful and effective person? Well, there are probably some people who would love spending their days watching TV shows, eating, sleeping, and doing nothing useful. Most of us don’t dream about becoming such persons. We want to achieve great goals and be an example for the generations to come. In this article, I am providing 7 fundamental rules to follow to live a successful life; get in tuned with them.

1.                  Commitment to the journey
They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. If you are not committed to a journey how will you finish it? For instance, an Olympic athlete is always seen preparing for the games even if it is in a year’s time because he needs to be a medalist. Long distance runners (800m,1500m) practice and run distances just to get prepared, what of triathlons and decathlons runners. That is how you are supposed to be committed to the journey of life. Are you committed? Why do u quit? Do you quit because the money is low? Do you quit because you can't find the right people? When do you say it's over? See your dreams to the end and do not relent even if a small obstacle comes in between your success. Challenges come in different forms but once you can single them out then you’re in the right path.

2.                Never lose hope
No matter how bleak things look. Hope is the rope that will pull you up. It is your connection, your stairway, to get your dreams and expectations realized. Never leave the rope of hope. When you leave the rope then you have given up on that dream. Even the richest men in the world started from somewhere. Why are you discouraged my friend. Do your best. Stand up from your bed of slumber and make yourself useful. Take a roll call and decide what you want to do with your life. If you do not achieve anything in a day give yourself a dirty slap. Add value to yourself, if not you will find yourself adding to someone else’s life.
In fact, throw the box out altogether, and start following your heart wherever it leads you. This can be as simple as following your highest excitement in the moment.

3.      Manage your time.
Time management is very important in your life. Time does not stop for any one. That is why it is important to do something with the time you are in this world. Putting off important tasks until the last minute can cause you unnecessary stress, and increase the likelihood of errors and negligence. Manage your time so that you have enough time to complete tasks effectively. Use reminders on your smart phone and make use of its electronic timer for better time management. Make a list of all the things you need to do in a given day, and check off each task as you complete it. This will help you stay organized and motivated. If you look at successful people in this world they are organized and work with time. Time management is important in everyday endeavors. If you have a problem keeping with time ensure you set it 1 hour before time. This will enable you accommodate excess delays. I am so guilty of this point but I have made improvements on my time management. I set up schedules like meetings, appointments one hour before time this is to make me keep on time even if unforeseen circumstances occur. You too can learn from time management tactics.

4.      Be wary about your environments
The environment around us has a huge impact on all our levels of consciousness (subconscious and unconscious) . This includes the place we live in, friends we have, things we read, people we see and the list goes on. The environment which is our immediate surrounding consists of different kinds of people with varying characters. Only emulate the good characters which we come across. Environment is contagious. Thomas A Edison said he was able to become a successful inventor because he placed himself in the company of people who were much smarter than him. He was then able to learn from people who inspired him. We form most of our thoughts in response to the environments we inhabit. Kindly do this little experiment. Put yourself in company of people who are into gambling, or participating in other interests out of your comfort zone, for a period of time. Monitor your thoughts and emotions during this experiment. Most likely your thoughts will be correspondent to the environment you subjected yourself to. You will find yourself doing these things not out of your own will but due to influences around you. Always be in a company of people who know what they’re doing. Success is contagious it is only through association that we can have opportunities to be successful.

5.       Have a good routine
Having a good routine is a sure rule of living a successful life. You can surely achieve notable success if you stick with a well-established routine. However, routine has its way of undermining your efficiency. If you don’t do anything different, you’ll soon get bored of your daily activities; no matter how committed you are to the goals you’ve set. Try something new! Start exercising, visit new places, try exotic meals, and surpass your insecurities. Meet new people and learn from them!


See Also: 10 Helpful Habits That Will Ensure Your Happiness


6.      Get enough sleep and rise early
Early rise stimulates the better performance of human’s brain; it helps us to understand better essence of certain problems and find fresh and reasonable solutions for them. But don’t forget that you need to get enough of sleep, so try to go to bed early. In addition to the utility of an early rise, it also gives you extra time, which you can usefully spend on anything you like. Early helps to stimulate our body and get us that kick to start the day.

7.       Keep on learning
To be successful in life we need to keep on learning every day, do not feel the need to stop learning if you see something is new to you. Try to see how that can add to your knowledge. Don’t learn bad things it will only reduce your potential. One doesn’t have to be a leader to be successful in life. So for me it is most important to constantly learn something new and try to stay informed, which is not an easy feat today. I see a big difference in older people: people who are eager to learn into high age, who are interesting and living a quite full live, in comparison to people who have few interests and start complaining. – To have lots of interests and never stop learning is very important for your overall happiness and to be successful in life.

There you have it 7 essential rules which will enable you live a successful life. Try these out and see how things will turn around for good. You can add yours in the comment box.

Saturday, 8 October 2016

7 Essential Positive Thinking Practices You Should Know (An Everyday Guide)


7 essential positive thinking practices you should know
A Positive Thinker



To stay positive you should learn to allow only positive thoughts rule you. This is a rejoinder from my previous article about the importance of positive thinking. To be an optimist or a good positive thinker you need to un-learn wrong practices and negative thoughts that spoil your mood, learn practices that boost your morale and leave you lively then re-learn new behaviours which will make you live the best lives. The following steps below should be practiced and mastered, till they become part of us.



  • 1.      Always expect good things to happen, depending on your dream. If you are focused on wealth creation go for it. If it is success in life think about it every day always make the right decision when the opportunity presents itself. Do not doubt or second guess any opportunity that presents itself. Look for opportunities that will lead to achieving your goal and pounce on them. The more you remain positive about a goal the more that opportunity presents itself to you in a platter of gold. Note that you must be ready to take the risk and make a decision in other to exploit this chance. Any pessimistic thought will make you loss that opportunity for ever. This positive thinking exercise will help you in the long run.


  • 2.      If you have any new project or activity coming up, stop and visualize the positive outcome of that project. The feel good hormone should go through your body as you meditate on the success this will bring you. For no reason should you consider fear or get scared if not, it will just come true. Kick out any negative thought and go for it. But ensure you map out a strategy to bring this new project home and reap the benefits. This positive thinking strategy will put you in a good position to make this project a success.



  • 3.      Think positive and remove negative thoughts from your mind. Replace negative with positive ones and create room for more to come in.  Positivity is essential to productivity. Any time you find yourself thinking negatively stop and think the opposite. The more you exercise the mind to produce positive thoughts the more you’re productive and successful.




  • 4.      Stop hanging out with negative people. This people drain you every time you together and they prevent you from reaching your positivity potential. This is even more difficult if the person the person is a good friend, the only way is to detach yourself from them because they will only keep poisoning your mind. Some of them are unwilling to change and due to this stubborn nature their influence on you can be very strong. Hang around more with positive people that will energize you with positive thoughts and advice.


  • 5.      Be optimistic every time, no more saying I can’t, instead change it to I can. Even if you have doubts at the back of your mind that it is a tall order. You know you can do it if you set your mind to it. Anything is possible with optimism. We have the power in our hands to make anything work out for us only by being positive in mind and heart. Let your actions show positivism.


  • 6.      Do things that make you happy! If you don’t feel like engaging in an activity, don’t. You should always give room for our minds to engage in activities that strengthen it. This does not mean you should neglect other people because their activities does not bring us joy, I am only saying you should try to keep a level mind and be free, with time you will realize that even those activities that annoy or bore will be bearable once we become positively minded.


  • 7.      Show confidence anywhere you find yourself. Sit-up whenever you sitting. Walk with head held high like you just won a lottery and keep your shoulders straight. Express yourself confidently when in social gatherings. Exercise regularly to keep fit and be healthy. Physical attributes help confidence and can portray you in a good light.

Practice the above exercises and see your positive nature increase everyday till it becomes part of you. Positive thinking can help you to do your best each day. It can also help you to look back at things that happen along the way and view them as positive life lessons. In addition, in sharing positive mood and positive experiences, you and those around you enjoy an emotional boost.


I hope these positive thinking exercises help to transform your life. If they work for you, let me know through the comments box below. If they don’t, let me know too.  Share in your social media so people can learn from this article.

Friday, 7 October 2016

The Power Of Positive Thinking to Your Life


The Power Of Positive Thinking To Your Life
Positivism and life


Positive thinking is integral to your life. Optimism is the belief that good things will continue happening and the removal of negative thoughts from the mind.  The power of self belief cannot be over emphasized, if you give your mindset that push then the universe will surely make things happen in your favour. Positive thinking directs our thoughts and actions into accomplishing a goal. By thinking in the right manner you will find yourself working to make that a reality. The mind is very powerful it gives out signals and receives signals too.

Have you seen yourself in a situation whereby what you dream about becomes a reality. For instance you wish for that dream car and you do everything possible to get it. That is positive thinking; you neglect all those thoughts that discourage you that you are not good enough to own that kind of car, you see yourself dreaming and envisaging about driving that same car.  One way or the other your mind is channeled at a goal which is to obtain that car. Looking on and you will find yourself in that car because your mind put you to work.  There are examples of situations whereby someone even gets you that same car as a birthday gift etc.

We are what we think and what you think determines what you do. No one is created less than the other. The ability for us to control our thinking will determine our position in life. The ability to harness that gift and power which is hibernating in your mind is what distinguishes you from the other. Make a resolution today to start thinking positively. Start by doing this little step, close your eyes and examine your life, think of the things you want to change, take note of them and make a commitment to change those things. It will later become part of you. When we were children there are things we did not like to do ordinarily like brushing our teeth but we were forced to do these things because it will prevent us from germs and diseases and provide a healthy dentition. From time to time it became part of us and we grew with this practice so is positive thinking when you start engaging in it little by little it becomes part of you. Your hygiene is important but so is your spiritual well-being and if both are taking care of and cemented with positive thoughts then your life will have a positive direction.





The Power Of Positive Thinking To Your Life
I can do it- The Power Of Positive Thinking To Your Life


A lot of people are turning to positive thinking as a powerful tool because of the results which are obvious. There are some extreme cases that even doctors cannot do anything about they can only advise that it is left for the patient. That patients will power and positivity is the only chance of his survival even drugs and other healing methods won’t salvage the situation. The body is a self- healing entity driven by the inner self and mind. Optimistic people have discovered that the human mind has the power to turn wishes into reality though thinking positively. People are using positive thoughts everyday to transform their lives knowingly and unknowingly, whether something is going to happen or not, it’s not left to you to doubt but to remain positive. According to a Stanford Research Institute study- success is 88 percent positive thinking, and only 12 percent education. Therefore positive thinking is an important factor in succeeding in life.

Positive thinking leads to positive outcomes and it brings your body mind and soul together which creates positive opportunities for us.  To be happy and successful in life, you should inculcate positive thinking into your life. People that think positively live a life free of worry and negativity they smile often and have an aura of positive energy around them they are good companions and always leave the best reaction on us. They won’t make you feel bad but will encourage you depending on the situation.
Positive thinking helps us go through life with our head help up high because of the courage to take action when opportunity presents itself around us. The future is bright for positive thinkers; make a decision today to be one. Choose to be positive and you’ll feel better, make others feel better. The power of positive thinking is making a commitment to get the best out of each day. It helps you to better evaluate whatever situation you find yourself and taking the positives out of that day. Life is a journey and we learn to get the best experience out of it.
Be sociable please share.


Tuesday, 27 September 2016

Why Is Self Confidence Important ( How To Improve Self Confidence)



A Self Confident Girl
IMPORTANCE OF SELF CONFIDENCE





What is Self Confidence

Self-confidence is the belief in oneself and abilities, it describes an internal state made up of what we think and feel about ourselves. Self confidence is the belief that we can do things we normally don’t do when we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory. Self confidence stems from our inner self.  Everyone is created differently, some people are created shy while some are outspoken. This should not deter us in being confident when the need arises.

Types of self confidence

There are two major types of self confidence; 
·        Low self confidence
·        High self confidence

Low self confidence: This is a person who has a poor belief in both their self worth and competence. They basically have constant feeling of insecurity they are timid and mostly shy. Most suffer from depression and anxiety.  Low self-confidence can result in: shyness communication difficulties, social anxiety and lack of assertiveness

High self confidence: This is a person who has a good belief in their competence and self worth. They generally feel good about themselves and are fun to be with. They are pleasant and have high energy always. High self confidence can result in: boldness, social flexibility, assertiveness and happiness.

Importance Of Self Confidence

It is worth noting that not everyone is born with an inbuilt sense of self confidence. Sometimes self confidence is hard to develop maybe due to bad experiences in the past which caused you to lose confidence in yourself or if you have a low self. Self confidence and self esteem are used interchangeably. Self confidence can originate from childhood experiences etc. Someone with low confidence does not just exhibit it at once. Certain scenarios which have happened in the past have made that person like that and it has become a way of life for that person. For a child that is always encouraged by the parents to keep on despite having failed once or twice will always be high on confidence because he sees every failure as a learning point. Good experience and memories will help boost the self confidence of that child.  Self confidence is important because it puts us in a positive mood always.

However if we are to improve our self confidence, we can read books and study to be more confident in a particular field of study. For men who put a lot of importance into body building and can register in a gym and build up their muscles, if that will boost your self confidence. Self confidence is an inner belief that you feel and radiates outwardly. Examine yourself, take note of things you won’t normally do on a normal day then make a resolution to try it out. In case you find yourself in social events, you should talk to people you meet for the first time, strike a conversation with them and see how it ends. You might be surprised by who you meet. If you want to be successful in life, self confidence will play a great role because it is only through our interactions and reactions with people that we grow and get opportunities. Let’s take this scenario for instance you are a marketer in a company and you have to market a product; how can you convince someone to buy your products if you’re not confident about yourself or the product you’re selling. So you see, you have to be confident to market that product. After convincing people to buy you will find yourself meeting your target which will in turn gain you promotions in your place of work.

Another scenario is finding yourself in a situation where you fancy someone of the opposite sex, but when the time comes for you to strike a conversation with that person you shy away and that opportunity is lost forever. Next time you meet that dream partner of yours, be confident on yourself and make a good first impression.  Do not beat yourself because you missed an opportunity due to lack of self confidence, take it as a learning point and strive to do the right thing next time. Or better still stop beating yourself for failing or screwing up? It might not be a funny but it won’t help you get through it. It is much better to recognize that everything, whether it favors you or not will always make you stronger this is how you practice living a rich life.

Having a bad relationship with our body especially for women and young men affects our self confidence. You see well muscled and trimmed men in bill boards and the television and want to be like them. There’s nothing bad admiring those celebrities etc, but it is important we don’t copy them but look at what they do that conveys confidence and learn from what they are doing right if it is to visit the gym and get that trimmed body then do it. If it is to be doing sit ups and pushups for that big chest and six packs then get to work. If it works for you, then fine. For our ladies we find most loss self confidence easily when they feel they don’t have that perfect body. We see most with low self esteem this is as a result of the common craves for this model figure though elusive to my standards. If you are fat and your body makes you lose your self confidence then try to work out and loss those fats anything that tickles your fancy is welcome. Being confident is an ongoing process not a goal, it doesn’t end when it has been achieved instead it is continuous as you will be faced with different situations that your confidence will be tested.


SEE ALSO : 8 Bad Habits That Will Steal Your Joy ( When You Least Expect )

An individual lacking self confidence who receives a low score in a take home assignment may tell himself, “What else could I expect? I am not good enough and this just proves it.” An individual with high self confidence who also receives a low may think, “I wonder where I went wrong? I’ll surely find out and do better next time.” Even though it is painful and this individual feels disappointed because of the low mark he doesn’t feel dejected or feel less a person. If we have low self confidence, then the low score scenario may trigger memories of similar events in the past and then lead to a cycle of negative thinking. Now imagine if you now start thinking of the future after such negative feelings have occupied our minds. These low expectations will discourage you from even trying in the first place and then you experience another disappointing result and feel negative about yourself again.

Do not feel guilty or downcast when you make decisions that hurt others. I am not saying you should be a sadist but you should be confident about our decisions. Monitor yourself, talk and question your negative statements about yourself, stop focusing on yourself too much and try to help others. Make time for yourself and treat yourself often. Don't be afraid to ask others for what you want. As no man is an island to himself we all need each other to survive. You can practice these four (4) little steps below to improve your self confidence.

  1. Take stock of your achievements and write them down on a list you will find out you have achieved a lot. It doesn’t matter what kind of achievements they are in as far they are important to you. Be proud of this list of achievement you did them all by your own. Focusing on the positives will increase your self confidence.
  2. Practice optimism every time. Being optimistic is giving yourself positive assurances that things will go fine Use positive self-talk and affirmations to reprogram your thinking. "I am a good and worthwhile person". If you always have thinking that things will turn out good you will find yourself confidence returning.
  3. Think about positive experiences and people. Remember good times and surround yourself with people who have positive energy and make you feel good. Spending time with people who like us can be helpful. Remove negative friends, gossipers or people with negative energy from your life they will only make you bad and cause you to have low self confidence. Now you can see that removing critics from you life will increase your self confidence.
  4. Finally make personal changes to your life. This is an important step to improve your self confidence.  The first step is to map out and identify what you want to change in our life.  What can you change that will make you feel better about yourself? Are you confident and happy with your job? Does it pay the dues? Is there something else you'd rather do? What about your relationships or your social life? If you would like to be more assertive for example then start working on that immediately. Having done that, it is necessary to make sure that they are manageable; break it down into smaller steps or identify a less ambitious change to attempt first.

A general overview of the above steps will help improve your self confidence. Take each step and practice it, before you know it becomes part of your routine and you will start seeing results and your self confidence will come back.


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Tuesday, 20 September 2016

8 Bad Habits That Will Steal Your Joy ( When You Least Expect )

8 bad habits that will steal your joy when you least expect
Bad Habits That Steal Your Joy



Everyone has that habit that makes them different. Habits control our way of life and it has a great influence on our emotions depending on the situation. Habits are formed over time. Our thoughts and mind are in control of our well being. Often times we find ourselves participating in a negative behavior which we may or may not be conscious of because our subconscious mind is already used to this negative pattern. These common habits can steal our happiness if we engage in them. Below are few of the bad habits and how to overcome them.

Constant thoughts of the past

It is called the past for certain reasons meaning that whatever you do cannot change it. You find yourself feeling gloomy about a mistake which you could have avoided. This makes you sad because your mind is now focused on that sad experience which causes negative energy to form around you. Why do you constantly re-live your past? Embrace your past and get over it.  To relieve yourself from this burden, think about your present situation, satisfy yourself that things happen for a reason and let it go.

Worrying about tomorrow

We constantly find ourselves worrying about the future when we know we have little influence on how it unfolds. Live for the presence and be at peace. I am not saying planning for the future is not a good thing, you can plan for it but don’t over indulge in it to the extent that it steals our joy from us. Enjoy the present and know that the tomorrow will take care of itself.
Do not worry too much as our lives has been mapped out. Think about how to make the present beautiful so that the future will be comfortable as well.

Comparing yourself to others

We often give ourselves emotional trauma when we constantly compare ourselves to other people. We are all born differently and we need to remind ourselves that all fingers are not equal. In our great quest to be like that friend we constantly wish to be like, we tend to do things that are not comfortable for us and end up disappointed. We are all unique in our different ways and we have our own strength and weaknesses. You will be surprised that the awesome person we are trying to comparing ourselves too, will be admiring something in us. This habit is common among teenagers in high school. Instead of feeling jealous about that person why not use that as a motivation to be like that person. Comparing yourself to others will only steal your joy in the long run.

Being too serious about life

Yes! You are too serious about life. This is a bad habit that will drain you of your emotional strength. I wonder why we take life that we have little influence over to seriously. Live life to its fullest, live everyday like its your last day on earth, unwind and have fun, relax and give yourself a break from the everyday hassle. We are in this life to learn and make mistakes and we learn from these mistakes. Anytime you see yourself making mistakes laugh over it and give yourself a pat in the back because next time you wont repeat that same mistake.

Living a borrowed life

Who cares what you do? We are all in this world to make a mark that is why everyone is part of a whole. It is our own unique attributes that bring a complex situation together. Do not live a borrowed life, do not copy or pretend to be someone you are not. Boost your self esteem and let your light shine. The moment you discover your self-worth then you will be totally free to impact in the society. Even if you look at someone as your rival, the best you can do is recognizing your own strengths, building on it to bring out the real you. You will be surprised how this works like magic.

Being a perfectionist

Nothing steals our joy faster than the quest for perfection. Failures are proofs that we are human beings. No one is perfect but we find people that strive for perfection. They go all the way to make things perfect even though it is through illegal means. if this is not done their urge is unsatisfied. It is only robots that we know are perfect and even robots malfunction some times. It is necessary for you to embrace your mistake and live a life of joy. Be a learner and ask questions. it is only by asking questions you tend to learn and be the best in that endeavor.

Working without zeal

Working for no pay or pay that cannot cater for your needs and that of your family is disastrous and frustrating. The economic problems and hardship in the country is enough to make someone go mad. Don’t give up on your dreams; look for a job that will help you financially.  Choose a job you love doing and engage in it. There is a feeling you get when you are in the wrong industry. for instance, imagine an Engineer working in the bank. You find yourself working just because there is no alternative. This habit will continue to ruin your joy except you make a decision to switch to something better. What are you going to do in such situation?


Bottling up your feelings

You need to express yourself to ensure relief. This will ensure a light heart. why carry such load of burden about? Bottling up feelings will allow them to build up and cause problems. if you bottle them up it will eventually blow up one day. If you are burdened about an issue it is better to let it out irrespective of what people will feel. 

There you have it 7 bad habits that steal our joy. What is the one thing you can change about your life? Make a decision today and take life easy as it comes; the change begins with you.